Yesterday I ended up having the same conversation twice. As an Intuitive I call that a sign. I’m sure that resonates with you. Conversation number 1 was with a colleague who had a friend who hadn’t disclosed her intuitive abilities with her family. Conversation 2 was with a client who needed reassurance that what she was doing in her therapy practice was honouring her intuition and therefore honouring herself.
I began my ‘spiritual’ journal properly at the age of 28. Now as I look back on that I can see the power of the timing; the start of a new 7 year cycle, the proximity to my Saturn return, but the biggest power came from within – my decision to live in alignment with my intuition. If something felt right I was going to do that thing, be with that person, stand in that space. If it felt wrong I would walk away. Armed with few tools – a tarot deck (the Mythic Tarot) and a big dose of courage I began that quest.
I quit mainstream teaching. I learnt to read Tarot professionally, did Psychic development classes and learnt everything from reading playing cards, crystal-ball reading, ribbon-reading, mediumship and aura reading. I began working as a professional Tarot reader, I taught Intuitive development courses and all was good. Then I had what can only be described as a relapse – I went back into teaching, did what my head thought was right and had a huge crisis in both body and spirit. I was living this double life;standing in a world ruled by conventions and regulations, desperately fighting them, battling with heart versus head. Cue burnout.
At the age of 35 – (see a new 7 year cycle!) I retrained as a Shamanic homeopath, began being open about my intuition and trusted in myself that I was on the right path and it’s been a wonderful journey with beautiful experiences along the way.
But let’s rewind back to what happened in those years of me not listening to my intuition between probably the age of 31-34 (I’m going to be honest and let you know it was all about money, mortgages, having small kids and feeling like I had to provide. New-Mum guilt).
I hid my abilities from my family. I told only people who ‘needed’ to know. I got work, in fact I got a lot of work in the psychic field. But inside my heart I felt this swirling sensation that I could never truly relax, never be myself around people and it felt shit. I felt judged, I judged myself and lived in this big bubble of self-disapproval and shame.
I went for counselling and remember sitting there just crying for the first session and not really saying anything. I’d begun to tell people that I was working at Psychic fairs, but my first thoughts were that people would think I was stupid. After all, who has a degree, a PGCE, and then jacks it all in to read Tarot in a pub? So I began teaching others intuitive skills – seemed so much more respectable to be a teacher than just a psychic. I really enjoyed it and made some good friends, but I knew this was partly my ego talking about acceptability there!
In the counselling sessions, which were fairly successful, we would talk about how I saw myself. My own expectations and where they derived from. First in my family to go to university, I felt such huge shame that I wasn’t doing something more ‘academic’ with my life. When I got a teaching job that involved working in an outreach capacity with Gypsy,Roma and Traveller Pupils it felt like a great combination of respectability to the outside world with personal fascination with Gypsy culture. I learnt so much from their ‘present’ mindset.
We’d also talk about how the process of talking it through with people felt like a hugely vulnerable, raw process. I likened it to a coming out, and know that many others have said the same. However, I know that the LGBTQ community often live in fear of their lives and of persecution when they come out, depending on where in the world they live, so I cannot say it is the same experience at all and whilst spiritually ‘coming out’ may share similar emotions this is absolutely not the same! As I’ve thought about it more recently I wonder whether it is the collective trauma of past histories of those who have identified as witches, shamen or wise-women that connected me to those vulnerable emotions? Food for thought.
11 years later I really feel that I have got this one sorted (well almost!) and I put together a few thoughts to share with those of you who work intuitively in your therapy field to help with you standing in your own space:
* Think about how you word what you do on your website and marketing. Does that description make you feel proud or vulnerable. Does your self-description adhere to any of the rules laid out by your governing body about marketing?
* Can you find space in your ‘About Me’ to allude to your abilities in a way that tells those in the know, but isn’t a put-off to the more skeptical client? Do have someone to run this by?
* How do you tell your clients what you do? I find in a homeopathic consultation people will often talk about religion or spirituality. I let those who I intuively pick up on, know that I can work on a deeper level with cards if they so wish.
* What routines and rituals do you have to start and end your sessions with clients so that you are protected from energies?
* How do you honour any downloads that come your way from spirit? How do you let your patients know? Do you have a ‘patter’ that rolls of your tongue so that you feel comfortable and safe?
* And finally do you even need to let everyone know how you work? Is it in your best interests to tell anyone and everyone?
If this has resonated with you and you feel like you would like some coaching and support in integrating spiritual practice into your therapy or healing modality then book a discovery call with me to see how we can work together. Supporting you to work in alignment with your true calling is such an honour and privilege. I support therapists who struggle with this because I know what it is like and have many experiences to draw upon.
You may like to join me in my Free Tarot Workshop on Tuesday 10th November 2020 at 2pm
If you are a therapist or healer who is struggling right now then drop me a line. I offer sessions on a 1:1 basis or in a group session to help you grow or evolve your practice.